Tag Archives: death

The Moment You Know…

On Thursday July 16, 1992 my dad woke in the morning and left for work. Not unlike he had done nearly everyday of his life. He went to the warehouse where he picked up the 18-wheeler and drove south on Interstate 75.

He arrived at his first stop in Kentucky. Checked in with the warehouse and dropped over dead.

I was at work that morning. I worked a full day. When I arrived home my uncle was on the phone. He told me that dad died earlier that day.

Today, 25 years later, I’ve been thinking a lot about that day. The thought that keeps going through my mind is: “ You never know what you don’t know…until you know it.”

I understand that probably sounds silly. But, what I realize is that I worked that entire day not knowing that dad was dead. How often do things happen and we continue on with our lives, because we don’t know.

Obviously there isn’t a way to change this. Its impossible to know something before we actually know it. But that moment in time when you learn “the news” its like stepping through a wall of time that you can never return through. The heartbreak is attached and the only way to release any of it is to move forward, one step at a time, no matter how deep you fall into the darkness, no matter how difficult it is to lift your foot, you must move forward.

It took me a long time to move through the grief after loosing my dad. To date it was the most difficult loss of my life. I struggled. I sunk deep into a severe depression. I drug my feet…unable many days to lift them off the ground. But I did it. I survived. I found the light again and I embraced it.

Today I still think of dad, I miss him and still wish I could talk to him. But today I can do these things with a smile on my face not a pain in my heart.

Dad, Big Bunk, Little Bunk, Matt

Left – right: Grandpa Rabold, Dad, Great-Grandpa Rabold, Front Row: Brother (Matt)

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Unexpected Lesson

I woke up in a grumpy mood this morning. Freckles and Sugar decided to start barking much too early.
Saturday morning, no where to be, no plans…and they start barking.
After Tina and the girls headed out to get mani-pedis I decided to lay down and try to sneak in a quick nap before going for a bike ride.
Just as I started to doze off my phone rang. I looked, it was a client. I rolled back over. Within minutes my phone rang again…same client. I decided to answer, though I was not happy about it.
When I answered it wasn’t my client, it was her brother. He told me his sister died.
I sat there stunned. I kept thinking about my interactions with this young lady. I thought about her family. I thought about the hole she would leave.
Then I realized how ridiculous I had been earlier. I was grumpy…for no real reason. The fact is I woke up…earlier than I wanted…but I woke up. I had the entire day ahead of me…I could go ride my bike, hug my wife and laugh with the girls. I still had things to look forward to and friends to love…I still have my life.

There are so many sad side stories to this death. So many hearts broken by this loss. Yet everyone’s life will move on. Everyone, even her closest family will heal. What I hope for is that each person effected and maybe even those of you that read this post, will take a minute to remember how fortunate we are. Remember to appreciate the time we are given to walk on this earth. And most importantly remember to appreciate those people we get to share this planet with.